


Before I Wake

by Dinn4, thiswholeflight, wellyouknowhowitis



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: AND IT IS, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Witchcraft, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dream Pack!Blue, Drug Abuse, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, I'm so bad at this Imma let one of the other's take over tagging, M/M, More specific sex tags to come later, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Recreational Drug Use, Sex, Smut, This sounds like a pretty dark fic, Witchcraft, Witches, but it's also funny
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:29:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24872332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dinn4/pseuds/Dinn4, https://archiveofourown.org/users/thiswholeflight/pseuds/thiswholeflight, https://archiveofourown.org/users/wellyouknowhowitis/pseuds/wellyouknowhowitis
Summary: Kavinsky owned her, though she'd never admit it outloud. He had a way with words, and a supply of drugs, that drew people to him, and kept them there, for as long as he could use them. When Blue met him, she thought he was the freedom fighter, rebel leader. Now, after meeting Gansey, she's not so sure he isn't the cold tyrant. She can see why Ronan left them for him, but she's in too deep, and she's too broken, not even King Gansey can save her now.
Relationships: Blue Sargent & The Dream Pack, Jiang/Joseph Kavinsky/Prokopenko/Skov/Swan, Joseph Kavinsky/Blue Sargent, Joseph Kavinsky/Prokopenko, Poly Dream Pack - Relationship, Richard Gansey III/Blue Sargent, Ronan Lynch & Blue Sargent, Ronan Lynch & The Dream Pack, Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gxnseysblue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gxnseysblue/gifts).



> We have all been heavily inspired by music while writing this, and we wanted to share our playlists with you guys. Hopefully listening while reading will heighten your experience.
> 
> If you don't care about the breakdown of things and just want to Vibe we have [BIW Universe playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3JtES9UCpePQAoy5sUZwUQ)
> 
> Otherwise we have:
> 
> [Dream Pack!Blue playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3vDHgfEYSzgOkFVNSXkDKT?si=KDFlug_bSuC4VTsLW16vVw)
> 
> [Before I Wake Bluesey playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2TuHDhotsFxtN2cu82nEX4?si=mYuMw3H7QzGgw6NfufXYEA)
> 
> [Blue/K playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/08aN1FM477OZkWWS5SwoDZ)
> 
> [BIW Bronan playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2NZOrNgWI7iLDlzOHXbpRy)  
> and  
> [Kavinsky playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1GbmMbyNGvYn1FRd2CPUTS)

_ A second later, the engine roared to life. Or rather, the car roared to life. Who knew what strange, miracle wiring was even making the sound that flooded their ears. Blue made a ridiculous whooping sound of glee. The year was stretched out in front of them: magical, enormous and entirely unwritten. It was a marvellous thing and Blue was alive with the thought of a future unpredicted. Fate diverted. _

_ “Do you think it ever breaks down?” Gansey shouted over the sputtering of the not-engine. _

_ Henry began to laugh, warm and delighted. “This is going to be a great trip.”  _

_ He stepped on the gas. _

Blue jerked awake, disoriented, like she actually expected to wake up in that old, beaten up dream car instead of here, on this plush dream sofa. She couldn’t believe how  _ vivid _ it all had seemed. Her heart was racing. She could still feel the wind cooling sweat on her forehead, the smell of warm tires, and something fresh and mint-like that lingered on her lips.

“It was all just a dream,” she whispered, if only to convince herself.

“Dreams?” came a smooth voice from the other end of the large sofa. Joseph Kavinsky sat up with a snort, drawing a thumb under his nose to rub the powder away. There was more blow untouched on the mirror beside him. “Dreaming’s my job,” he said. “You just rest your pretty head.”

“Mm, just a crazy dream,” Blue mused. “I was friends with Dick Three and his merry gang. That wasn’t even the craziest part.” The dream had started to fade, but she recounted the heart of it. Prophecies, mysteries, and dead Welsh kings. It sounded like a bad trip by the time she shared the finishing dissolving details.

He laughed shortly. “You dreamed me dead, little witch? Fucking dark. And here I thought we were in love.” His crooked smirk mocked her.

“You should be so lucky,” she said haughtily, rubbing at that space above her nose where a headache had begun to form. “Quit hogging the coke. The world is way too sharp right now.”

“Come here, baby. Come get your fix,” he patted his leg, presenting himself like a throne for her to sit on. 

Blue rolled her eyes, but did sit on his lap, pressed up against him as she used one of the numerous fake IDs that Kavinsky must have dreamt to separate out her own line. When she bent in to take it, she saw a flash of his grin. His smile would be almost nice to look at if it wasn’t like experiencing the world being turned over on its head. Her nose burned, stinging hard as she wriggled it, but she knew it wouldn’t be long before that sensation began to fade. The pain, the dream, K’s crooked smile, along with the rest of the world around her would be gone soon. 

Kavinsky gripped her thigh as she started to slide off his lap. “Ah ah ah, little witch, where’s my payment?” He tapped his bottom lip.

A kiss. Only a kiss.

Blue didn’t hesitate, catching his mouth easily, and the world as she knew it melted like paint in a rainstorm. Their lips slotted together and her hand curled around the nape of his neck as she tilted her head and deepened the kiss. Complaining was in Blue Sargent’s nature, but in the end she truly didn’t mind kissing him. He was at least good at it, much better than others she had kissed. He knew how to use his mouth and tongue. In an instant, with his mouth against hers, she felt new. She was clean. She was oh so clean. Washed away like the world. 

They were still plastered to each other when Proko entered the room; his familiar boots making heavy sounds as he came down the stairs. Blue felt the loss immediately. A kiss and then none at all, broken by K to watch his favorite plaything make his way towards them. No, Prokopenko was the easiest plaything. She didn’t want to think about what she was. She sighed quietly, wiping away the feeling of the kiss from her bottom lip. Her time with Kavinsky was over now.

Whatever, it was time for her shift at Nino’s anyway. “Later, bitches,” she said, not bothering to wait for a goodbye. K would already be too wrapped up in Proko to pay any attention to her exit. 

She was only halfway through her shift when Gansey, the star of her dream, came through the door, followed by his disciples. She rolled her eyes, ignoring them as they were seated by her coworker. Her cheeks burned at the memory of Gansey’s part in her dream. She could still hear the sound of the Pig’s engine, the smell of mint on his breath, the feel of-

“Pardon me, miss.”

Blue turned unwillingly towards the voice. She knew who it was of course, how could anybody mistake the sound of that honeyed, old-money, Virginia accented voice?

“Yes?” she asked Gansey, impatiently. 

He looked a bit put off by her curtness, but not enough to stop his next words. “Would you like to come sit with us?” He gestured at his table where the other three were watching. She knew Ronan, of course, and Adam from K’s stories. The third boy was unfamiliar, blonde and smudgy. The stranger looked curious, Adam distasteful, and Ronan, that absolute bastard, amused. She scowled at him and his smile grew. She jerked her attention back to Gansey.

“Do you see how I’m wearing this apron? It means I’m working. For a living.”

He looked unconcerned. “I’ll take care of it.”

She echoed, “Take care of it?”

“Yeah. How much do you make in an hour? I’ll take care of it. And I’ll talk to your manager.”

Blue was at a loss for words. She regarded him with narrowed eyes. Could he really be propositioning her? Here, at her real job? Considering for just a moment, she decided it couldn’t hurt. She needed money to keep up with her habits. She couldn’t solely rely on K accepting her  _ other services _ as payment. It wore her out too much.

“How much are you offering, sugar?” she asked, voice like silk. She put one hand on his forearm and left it there, leaning into him.

"You can't sell what you give out for free," Ronan smirked at her, coming up behind Gansey.

"Stay out of this, Lynch. If your friend is looking for a good time, I can oblige. Money might not be a problem for you, but the rest of us need cash to keep up with our habits." 

"What kind of habits?" Gansey asked, frowning now.

"That's not anything you need to worry about, baby," Blue responded, pulling out her man-eating smile, the one she used when asking K to get her something good. “What do you say we talk when my shift is over? You can have me the whole night, if you like.”

“Oh yeah, you better prepare to drop a lot on that, Gansey. Like, at least twenty bucks,” Ronan rolled his eyes.

Gansey looked extremely confused and maybe a little frustrated now. “I was just asking if you’d like to have dinner with us.”

Blue’s smile dropped. “That’s it?”

“Yes, that’s it. What did you mean?”

“I thought maybe-”

“She thought you wanted to pay her for more than just her pleasant company,” Ronan said gleefully. She wanted to rip the sarcastic smile from his face.

Realization dawned on the Aglionby boy’s face. “Oh, that was not how I meant it. That is not what I said.”

Blue had abruptly run completely out of patience for these boys. “That is what you said! But it doesn’t matter, you couldn’t pay me enough to suffer your abhorrent know-it-all attitude and judgemental friends. Get out of my face,” she snarled, moving to go around them and hide in the kitchen until they left. Maybe she would call K and convince him to make the trip to the pizza parlor so she didn’t have to go the rest of her shift without another hit.

“Wait,” Gansey said, grabbing her arm as she passed. A dangerous look came over her face as she glared at the offending hand and then its owner. He released her slowly. “I just wanted to apologize for the misunderstanding.”

“Whatever,” she snapped, turning on her heel and slamming through the kitchen and out the back door, yelling over her shoulder that she was going on her lunch break on her way out. She was already pulling up K’s number on the phone he’d bought her in exchange for her services. 

He answered on the first ring, making her swell a little with pride. He always dropped what he was doing just to answer her. “Hello, little witch. I missed you leaving earlier. You don’t even bother to say goodbye anymore?”

“I did, you were too distracted by Prokopenko to notice.” She tried not to let her annoyance slip through, lest he turn down her request.

“Ah well, that does sound like me. What do you want?” he asked. As disinterested as it was, his voice was a balm for her frayed nerves.

“I need a hit. Will you swing by?” she asked, scuffing her shoes on the asphalt.

“What will you give me in exchange?”

“Anything. Dick Three is here and pissing me off. I need it,” she said, a plaintive note in her voice.

“Oh is he now? Lynch and Parrish, too?” 

“Of course.”

“It might be worth the run just to go fuck with them,” K mused. She stayed silent, letting her bait sit. She knew it would get her further for cheaper than if she begged. “Okay. I’ll be there in five.” He hung up.

Blue heard when Kavinsky showed up, his engine rumbling loud enough to be heard from the back of the restaurant. She went back through the kitchens to meet him in the front, but he was already leaning over the table that held the other Aglionby boys. All four were stiff, with varying degrees of anger on their faces. She smiled for their discomfort.

Finally, K started laughing and straightened up. His eyes roved over the crowd until they landed on Blue, still waiting next to the kitchen. He sauntered up to her, pulling her into a deep kiss that she had no choice to return, not that she minded very much. When he was done, he smacked her ass and slung his arm around her shoulders, guiding her back through the kitchen door. She chanced a glance back at the table Gansey sat. He watched them with a deep frown. The smudgy boy looked disappointed now; Adam’s distasteful look had intensified. She saved the worst for last. Ronan was pissed, his glower following them as they left.

“Definitely worth the trip,” he laughed, pulling out the little baggy of fine powder and holding it in front of her face when they were back outside. She grabbed at it, but he pulled it back at the last second. “Hey, show some gratitude. I came all the way here.”

She propped her fists up on her hips. “You said-”

“That it was worth the trip,” he finished, wagging a finger at her. “Not worth the substance.”

She sighed. “What do you want for it?”

His grin came easily. “Nothing as bad as all that. Just a little something for me this time.” He tapped his lip like he had earlier.

She fitted herself against his body, tilting her head up as he leaned down to reach her. The kiss was soft this time, tongues sliding together and hands roaming. When his palms reached her ass, she nipped hard at his lip.

“Easy,” K chuckled.

“Not at work,” Blue said unconvincingly. Her eyes were still on his lips.

“Fine. When you get home, then.” He tossed the baggy up in the air and she snatched it.

“Done,” she agreed, tearing open the bag and making a line on the extra chair that they kept back here. She did the line, sniffling a little when she was done. “Thanks.” She planted a chaste- or chaste for them- kiss on his lips before returning to finish her shift. She willed the memory of that honeyed, Virginian drawl to fade along with the rest of the sharp edges of reality. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning, there is sex at the end of this chapter, so be aware if that makes you uncomfortable. We don't have a posting schedule in mind, and with three different schedules to try and match up, we can't guarantee updates as frequent as this one, but we're gonna try our best!

Having already asked K to bring her the coke earlier, Blue couldn’t bother him for a ride now that her shift was over. She sighed and steeled herself for the three mile walk in the dark back home.

She stepped onto the sidewalk, making sure to hit every crack. "Step on a crack, break your mother's back" the old saying went. She laughed to herself and stomped on another. Her mirth faded as a silver car came screeching to a stop next to her. She’d heard the engine coming, but it could've been any Aglionby boy’s car. It was just her luck that it was this particular raven boy.

“Maggot,” Ronan called from his rolled down window. She ignored him and kept walking, trying to move her legs faster, as though she could outpace the BMW. He tried again. “Sargent.” No response. He sighed, sounding encumbered, as though she were the one bothering him and not the other way around. “Blue.” That made her stop in her tracks. He never used her first name.

“What?” she asked, uncertain.

“Do you need a ride somewhere?”

“A ride? From you?”

“For fuck’s sake, do you see anyone else around here? Obviously I meant me,” he said exasperatedly.

“What do you want?” 

“Why do I have to want anything from you? I saw you walking and thought you might want a ride. Is that so hard to believe?”

“Yes,” she said, but got in the car. 

“To Kavinsky’s?” he asked, already putting it in gear. She expected him to take off, drive at least forty over the limit like he usually did, but he only went twenty over. Practically crawling.

“Home,” she confirmed, a little sharply, making it more of a jab.

Ronan didn’t take the bait, just nodded. It disappointed her. He’d always been ready for a battle when they were on  _ good  _ terms. Now that they were whatever they were, here he was trying to joke around with her at work and ignoring her biting remarks. The bastard. She would just have to try harder. “So, where are your new friends tonight?”

“Around,” he shrugged.

“They seem nice.” This wasn’t a compliment. “I get K’s dislike of them.”

“You don’t know them. Kavinsky doesn’t tell the whole story.” His eyes were narrowed now. Ooh, so he didn’t like her talking about them.

“You’re right, I’m sure. I’d love to get the whole story from Little Dick. He was pretentious, but at least he was cute.” Ronan’s hand tightened on the steering wheel. “Or are you hitting that? What about the other- Adam, was it? I’d love to get my hands on-”

Ronan slammed on the brakes, throwing her against the dash as she’d never bothered with the seatbelt. “Don’t talk like you know. You’ve never even met them.”

“Yeah well it seemed like your cult leader wanted to do more than meet me. Did he talk about me after I left? Did he tell you all the things he wanted to do to me? Did you tell them that you’ve actually seen me like that? That-”

“That shit’s in the past,” he snapped. “And Gansey isn’t like that.”

Blue laughed. “Another Virgin Mary?”

Ronan looked away, remembering the day she referenced. 

_ She slid her feet into the cool water of the pool. He mimicked her, leaning back on his hands and tipping his face to the sun. He was beautiful, but feral, unattainable for most. But so were they all.  _

_ She scooted closer, waiting for him to look at her. When he did, she leaned into him, reaching for his lips with her own. He scrambled back, trying to put distance between them.  _

_ "What's the problem?" she demanded. She knew he always denied the advances of the others, but she had assumed it was only because he didn't swing that way. Now she wondered if he swung any way at all.  _

_ "No problem, maggot. Just not into that."  _

_ "Into what? Girls?"  _

_ "Now that you mention it, no." It was an admission, but he spit it like an accusation.  _

_ Her protest died on her lips. "Oh."  _

_ "Yeah, oh."  _

_ "What about the others? You don't let any of them touch you either. Are you only for K?" She could understand that. Only K was allowed to touch her. Unless Ronan changed his mind, anyway.  _

_ "I'm not for anyone," he snarled. "I'm my own."  _

_ "You know what I meant." Blue waved off his angry words, unconcerned. "Are you saving yourself?" she joked. He didn't answer for a long moment. "You are! Ronan Lynch, the present day Virgin Mary!"  _

_ "Fuck off, Sargent." But he was smiling, his genuine smile, and it made Blue feel lighter to know he would share this with her. _

“You always were the least of us.” She didn’t mean it the way he most likely took it. She meant that he was the least like them, least addicted, least  _ in  _ with Kavinsky. On her worst days, she thought, this  _ was _ a compliment. 

Today wasn’t one of those days, however, and the hurt she’d intended landed, flickering in his eyes for a moment before his usual glare reclaimed its place. They had been the closest of the dream pack, almost inseparable before his defection. They’d almost been closer to each other than either was to Kavinsky. Almost.

“Yeah, well since I’m gone, who do you think is the least now?” 

Ouch. That stung.

“I’m deeper than all of them,” she muttered, childishly crossing her arms and turning away.

“You don’t have to be, you dumb shit.”

“We’re not all like you, Ronan. I don’t have anywhere else to go. You had friends outside of us. I never did.”

“You do now. Me. I’m not one of them.”

“We’re not friends anymore.”

“What the fuck would you call us then?” he taunted.

_ "Ronan 'holier-than-thou' Lynch. What do you give K to keep you around? It can't be the cash, he's got plenty to spare. And you don't let any of us touch you, so that's out. Tell me, what is it about you?"  _

_ "I'm here to keep you in check, maggot."  _

_ She laughed loudly, deeply, from the bottom of her stomach. "Then you definitely aren't earning your keep."  _

_ He cracked a small, rare smile. One only she got to see. "Well somebody around here needs to be responsible for you societal rejects." _

“I’d call you an asshole. I’d call you a headache. I’d call you a pain, an inconvenience, an infliction. I’d call you a fucking traitor. Take me home or I’m getting out and walking,” she demanded. They hadn’t stopped too far from K’s mansion.

“Fine.” He shifted the car into gear and headed towards the house. There were a slew of fancy cars parked all the way down the road. Must be a party tonight. As they drove past, Blue decided that she might just have to ask K to bring her back a car of her own, payment be damned.

“You want to come in?” She knew the answer but was hoping for a different one.

“Fuck no.

“Right,” she said bitterly.

“Don’t forget what we talked about,” he said when she opened the door to leave.

“About Gansey? Oh, I will,” she said, trying to bait him into one last knock-down, drag-out fight like they used to get into. 

It didn’t work. “No, smartass. About having a person outside of all this. You have an out. Just gotta take it. You know that old abandoned factory on the way to Nino’s?”

“Yeah, I pass it every day for work.” She rolled her eyes.

“Monmouth Manufacturing. You can find me there.” He turned away from her, looking at the place he used to call home. “Now get the fuck out, before Kavinsky knows I’m here. Just not in the mood to punch someone today.”

“That’s a first,” Blue rolled her eyes, slipping easily into their old way of conversing. She forced herself to remember that he was a treasonist. That’s really what it was to betray K and therefore the rest of them. Treason.

He gave her a wolfish grin, showing all his teeth menacingly. “Better get going or you’re going to be the one to catch it.”

With a dark look over her shoulder at him, she shoved her way out of the car and slammed the door behind her. He revved the engine twice and sped away, tires screaming as he went.

She shook her head as she pushed the door open to reveal a party already in full swing. Music and colored lights pulsed around her, and her eyes automatically adjusted and started roaming over the crowd, looking for K. She found him on the same couch she had passed out on last night, between two other townie girls that were hanging all over him. She walked over, digging her fingers into his hair and giving a sharp tug on it as she passed behind him to go around the couch.

“My little witch! You finally return.” He patted his lap and she sat down in it, ignoring the disgruntled girls on either side of her. 

“The nerve of some old people, coming in twenty minutes before closing and demanding to be served,” she lied smoothly.

“The audacity. I’ve got something for you,” he said, digging around in his pocket. He pulled out a little baggy with some little white tabs.

“X,” Blue said, pleased. “Here, I’ve got my tips for the night-”

“No need,” K said, shifting under her. “Don’t need anything more than what we agreed on earlier.”

“Then hand it over,” Blue batted her lashes at him, not that he needed anything more from her, since she could feel that he was already hard. She popped one and swallowed it dry. She relaxed into K’s arms, her mouth falling in line with his.

“Upstairs,” he commanded when they broke for air. She hopped up, taking his hand and leading him to his bedroom. He often fucked the others wherever they were when the mood struck him, in various places around the house. Blue was different. He only slept with her in his bedroom, where people wouldn’t see. She was for his eyes only. Well, with one exception.

She stripped off her shirt and shorts as soon as she walked in the door without checking to make sure it was closed, knowing K didn’t like to be kept waiting. Already missing his shirt, he slammed it shut, pressing her back into it. The X was kicking in; the wood of the door felt like silk against her bare skin and K’s tongue was melted chocolate in her mouth. It was everywhere, pushing through her lips, tangling with her own tongue, licking the roof of her mouth. She shivered with pleasure.

While no one else was allowed to see her, they were most definitely allowed to hear her. He picked her up by her thighs, hooking her legs around his hips and then slamming her back into the door with an audible  _ thump _ . She let out a moan when he pulled her hair, tilting her head so he could have access to her neck. He nipped hard at her, leaving marks from the sensitive spot under her ear down to the base of her neck that she probably wouldn’t be able to hide the next morning. Fuck, he was good with his tongue. If this wasn’t a payment for the drugs, she might’ve asked him to go down on her. She knew from experience that it would feel like she might touch Heaven while she was on X. But tonight was K’s. She wiggled her hips against him.

Gasping wildly, he braced her against the door and tore down his pants and boxers. His erection rubbed against her ass, drawing out another loud groan. She could hear loud talking and giggling and she was sure there were people just on the other side listening to her, but it didn’t matter because he was moving her panties to the side and sliding into her. For one glorious moment the world narrowed down to only her and K. He smiled at her and she felt a wave of what she could only imagine was love. 

“It’s you and me, baby,” he whispered in her ear. Then he was grunting, moving, in and out of her, her head bumping the door in time with his thrusts. She moaned and whimpered the sounds he expected to hear from her, but her mind was no longer there. His words had thrown her back to the car with Ronan.

_ “You had friends outside of us. I never did.”  _

_ “You do now. Me. I’m not one of them.” _

_ “We’re not friends anymore.” _

_ “What the fuck would you call us then?” _

It was her and Kavinsky. It always had been.

But it didn’t have to be anymore.

She forced herself back to the present, back to K, back to her fuzzy head and disjointed thinking. She could enjoy this. She would enjoy this. Digging her nails into his back and pulling down, she drew out his first real moan. Thrilled with this, she repeated the action, this time paired with a bite at his tongue, earning a soft slap. He left his hand there on her face, his thumb working its way into her mouth. She gave it a hard suck and then bit down on that too. The dark fire in his eyes blazed.

He moved his hands down to her hips, pulling her up and down in addition to his thrusts. Knowing that he was getting close, Blue started rubbing her clit, hard and fast, trying to reach the peak before he came. The ecstasy helped her, amplifying all the sensations. She climbed higher and higher, and then she was falling, a shivering, shaking mess.

Not a minute later, K came on a loud moan. He dropped his head on her shoulder, twitching through the aftershocks, little humps that caused little whimpers to escape her in her overstimulated state. Finally, he dropped her down, her legs barely able to hold her up. She quickly readjusted her panties and pulled on her clothes.

“I should let you pay all your debts this way,” he said, eyeing her as she slipped into her shirt.

“Anything you want, baby,” she said, running a finger down his chest. “Just say the word. You know that.”

He grabbed her hand as it trailed lower. “There’s plenty of time for round two later,” he grinned down at her and used the hand he held to pull her in for another hot kiss. He was gone before she had time to catch her breath. She slumped against the door, pushing stray flyaway hairs off her heated face. While it was a good fuck, Blue couldn’t ignore the strange, unsatisfied feeling that was settling in her stomach. 


	3. Chapter 3

Blue kicked around at the entrance to Monmouth Manufacturing. They were all there. She could see three cars in the parking lot: Ronan’s slick black BMW, Gansey’s obnoxious orange Pig, and a tricolored piece of shit that stuck out like a sore thumb. Adam’s, probably. K was always calling him a trailer trash piece of shit and the car was exhibit B, example of proof.    
  
“Don’t be a coward,” she muttered to herself before walking to the front door and rapping three times. It was quiet for a moment before she heard the telltale stomp of Ronan’s boots on the metal floor and he threw open the door. His mouth twisted up in a sarcastic smile, but she thought he still looked pleased somehow. 

“Sargent,” he barked.

“Lynch,” she replied with a roll of her eyes. “Don’t look so surprised. My presence was requested at some point, no?”

“It was  _ offered _ . Don’t mix it up,” he smirked. “Come on in.” 

She followed him in, eyes searching every corner warily. Blue registered the boys first. All four of them from Nino’s were there, watching her with curiosity and distrust, even Ronan.  _ Especially _ Ronan. That was fair. 

There was a bed in the middle of the room and a desk shoved off to the side. Both were surrounded by books - mountains and mountains of books. A thriving mint plant sat next to the desk on a weighty stack of papers. That had to be why Gansey smelled heavily of it. Mint was always on his breath and in his hair. On the other side of the room were three closed doors, presumably additional bedrooms and a bathroom. She couldn’t explain the bed in this one, though.

She looked at Ronan, hoping he would smooth over the awkwardness. Talk about unfulfilled wishes. "Maggot, this is everybody. Everybody, this is Maggot." He leaned back against the door jamb. She made a face at him and turned to introduce herself, but Gansey beat her to it.

"Certainly your name isn't actually Maggot, right?" he asked, extending an uncertain hand. 

"Blue," she replied.

"Blue? Like the color?" 

"Yeah, and you're Dick? Like the appendage?" she took his hand. 

He looked pained, mouth forming a grimace. "Please don't.”

"You must be Adam," Blue said, turning to face the lean boy. He was looking at her with his mouth twisted downward into what looked like distaste. She made a similar face, eyes roving over him, trying to see what marked him as superior to K. She didn't find anything immediately noticeable. 

Enough time on him. She turned to the smudgy boy instead. "And who are you, stranger?" Everybody but Ronan seemed surprised that she addressed him. She stuck out her hand and he reached to grasp it, seemingly because it was expected of him rather than him meaning to. Blue’s fingers brushed his and she felt a brumal chill travel down her spine. Her stomach turned inside out. This was the telltale sign of being drained. 

"Oh ho ho, Lynch, what interesting friends you have," she said loftily, turning to look at him instead of the remnant of the person in front of her.

He gave her his shark smile and bit out a reply. “I keep unusual company.”

“Isn’t that an understatement,” she murmured, turning back to the ghost. “What’s your name? Or what was it, anyhow?”

“My name  _ is _ Noah,” he said, still staring at her in wonder. “It’s very nice to meet you, Blue.” 

He still hadn’t let go of her hand, and she decided to let him keep it, though it might sap her. It had probably been a while since he’d felt this much energy. And it was worth the risk, she thought, to have him so immediately like her, even if she didn’t know why she wanted him to. It seemed to have an effect on the others, too. Adam was pacified infinitesimally. Gansey let out his own sigh, looking at Noah and Blue’s joined hands. 

“So Blue, how might we help you today?” Gansey queried.

“Help me? I’m just here for a bit of fun. Lynch here seems to prefer your company so I thought I would check you all out.” She looked down at her hand still wrapped in Noah’s. “So far, doesn’t seem to be a complete waste of a trip.”

“Fuck off, Sargent,” Lynch laughed merrily.

“Go suck a dick,” she responded, making a jerking off motion with her free hand.

“Oh  _ great _ , there’s two of you now,” Adam said, and Blue couldn’t quite comprehend what he did to his face to make it look so warm towards Ronan, and yet so cold towards her at the same time. It had to be a practiced look.

“How did you know about Noah?” Gansey asked. “Most people can’t even see him, let alone be able to tell he’s a ghost. Is this due to your powers?”

Blue sent a sharp look towards Ronan, meant to injure. “Someone has a big mouth, don’t they? How much have you told them about me?” she accused.

Ronan simply shrugged, an answer in itself, before Gansey stepped in again. The official spokesman of his people. Gansey intoned, “Only that you possess some unusual abilities of your own. You’re an amplifier, he mentioned. You make his ability stronger?”

“I make  _ everything _ stronger. Dreamers, ghosts, psychics.” 

“Oh, like a loudhailer!” Gansey said wondrously. Adam was keenly attentive for a second too long before schooling the fascination and the amusement out of his expression.

“A what now?” she asked, a mildly irritated expression crossing her face. Noah let go of her hand and warmly patted her hair. It was difficult to maintain the exasperation in her expression.

There were parts of Gansey’s face that pinked in response. “A megaphone.”

She shared a long-suffering sigh, shoulders slumped in defeat. She supposed that did describe her abilities. “I guess,” she said. “But I can feel him draining my energy. Made it kind of obvious.”

“Sorry,” Noah said sheepishly. He folded his hands behind his back.

Blue grabbed his hand and placed it back in her hair. “It’s okay, really,” she said kindly.

Adam watched her with narrowed eyes, a creeping suspicion in his gaze. “So,” he started flatly, “You’re Kavinsky’s girl.”

She automatically stiffened. “I’m my own,” she hissed at him, repeating Ronan’s words from that long ago day. “Don’t fucking imply differently.”

“You hang out with Kavinsky a lot. And you’re the only girl that does. Well, the only one that does regularly.” Adam crossed his arms defensively.

She mimicked his stance, standing several inches shorter, but ten times as tensely. Something burned at the bottom of her throat. “You meant I  _ belong _ to him. Well, I don’t. Or, wait, are you  _ Gansey’s  _ boy? Come on. Talk to me, one toy to another.”

That slammed. Adam’s hands balled into tight white-knuckled fists. Adam’s ears were turning an alarming red color. Fury radiated just under the precipice of his skin. She could tell. It thrilled her.   
  


“Shut your fucking mouth, Sargent,” Ronan seethed. He stood in front of Adam then, his back to her.

She smirked to herself. Blue was good at getting under people’s skin. She could tell from K’s stories that Adam wanted to stand on his own two feet, rather than depend on Gansey, or even Ronan, even though they were together. That car outside in the parking lot confirmed it for her. It would cost Ronan nothing to bring Adam back a car, like she contemplated asking K for. But, still, he drove that little tricolored shitbox. He was a lot like her. Or, at least, how she used to be before K got his hooks in her.

She shook that off. She was happy with her life. She was happy with K. Happy with her job, and her freedom, and her power. K only supported her. He didn’t control her like Gansey did with his followers. 

Smiling again, more tightly this time, she opened her mouth for one reason only. “Go to hell,” Blue said pleasantly, rabidly, piercingly, over her shoulder, before she kicked open the door with the toe of her boot. 

This had been a bad idea. There was a reason why she didn’t have friends outside the dream pack. There was a reason why she didn’t leave K. There was a reason why Ronan was considered a traitor. And, most importantly, there was a reason why she hadn’t followed him when she had wanted to.

“Wait,” called Gansey, when she was halfway to the opening to the road. She looked over her shoulder at him but didn’t stop. His longer legs caught up to her with minimal effort, though. “Please, wait!” He hurried to pass her and then planted himself in her way, a puff of breath rushing from his lips. “Adam didn’t mean it like that, Blue.”

“Yes, he did,” Blue countered. “Why even bother lying?”

Gansey began and then hesitated. “You’re right,” he agreed, after considering her for a moment. She was surprised to hear him say anything that painted any of his group in a less than perfect light. “You’re right,” he repeated. “He did mean it that way, but he’s just…-Well, for one, he’s rather defensive of the lot of us. I suppose he’s just a bit surprised. I know I am. Why would someone that spends so much time with Kavinsky suddenly want to hang out with us without malicious intent? Especially considering… our misunderstanding at Nino’s.” A hint of shame colored his tone.

Blue’s hackles rose again as she recalled. “Well, as Lynch so  _ helpfully _ pointed out to me the other night, I have no friends outside of K and his group. He swears the sun shines out of your ass. So, I thought this might be a chance to branch out. Make some. But that was  _ clearly _ a mistake. I’ll go now,” she said pointedly, moving to go around him. 

He reached a hand out, as though to touch her shoulder, but dropped it and stepped into her path again. They weren’t done. “I doubt Ronan quite said that, but you’re not wrong. This could be your chance to branch out from Kavinsky.” The way Gansey spoke his name was the way he would ask someone to take out the trash. Hell, Gansey probably didn’t need to ask anyone to deal with trash. Yet, here he was talking to her.

“I don’t have a problem with Kavinsky,” Blue said sharply. “He’s not as bad as Ronan makes him out to be. He supports me. He cares about me. He encourages me. I won’t let you or your flunkies badmouth him.”

Gansey pursed his lips. He looked like he wanted to argue but, instead, he replied with more formality than was necessary. “I apologize for our incivilities. Please, come back in. We’ll all be on our best behavior. I swear it. Even Ronan.”

“Like that means much,” Blue snorted. “Even you can’t muzzle him.” Gansey cracked a smile, but didn’t dignify that with a response. She studied Gansey for a lengthy moment. He appeared sincere. “Fine,” she said. “I’ve got some time left to kill anyway. Think your merry band is calm by now?”

“Is that what you call us?” Gansey chuckled. “I rather like that. But yes, I think he was mostly over it by the time I came to get you. Adam tries so hard to be his own person, you know? He doesn’t like anybody implying that he belongs to any of us. I suppose you two have more in common than it seems.”

“Yeah, I know the feeling,” Blue muttered.

“He seemed ready to apologize when I left,” he assured her. Gansey paused, ”None of us think that.”

“Uh-huh,” she rolled her eyes again. “Never crossed your minds once.”

“Truly, I know you don’t belong to him. Someone like you could never be owned.”

It was a heady thing, hearing those words from Gansey. Like he saw her. Like he could separate her from the rest of them when no one else did, except maybe Ronan. A swell of pride made her chest puff out as she followed him into the factory.

He was wrong, though. Kavinsky  _ did _ own her. For now.

Adam didn’t apologize, at least not aloud. When Blue reentered Monmouth, their eyes met. She returned the gaze and that was that. There was still tension between them throughout the day and it often came to a head in matters involving Ronan.

“We’re ordering in. Blue, do you have any requests?” Gansey asked, ever the doting host.

“Not Nino’s,” was her automatic response.

Adam snorted. “Well,  _ that _ narrows it down.”

Blue rolled her eyes. “And I suppose you have someplace specific in mind?”

“As a matter of fact,” Adam postulated, “I do. I’d like that Mexican place over on Main street.”

“Ew,” Blue wrinkled her nose. The hairs on the back of her neck prickled at the sound of Adam’s haughty tone. Were they not cut from the same Dollar Store fabric? He was the least Aglionby of the boys before her, and yet he was working double time to clip his vowels and mimic Dick the Third. “ _ If _ we’re gonna have cheap Mexican food, La Delicias is obviously superior to La Fiesta.”

“As if,” Adam scowled. “La Delicias is overpriced and bland.”

“Whatever. Ask literally anyone, everyone prefers La Delicias.”

“Name  _ one _ person who prefers that junk over La Fiesta.” He added as she opened her mouth, “Besides yourself.” 

The response was quick and followed by a smug looking smirk. “Your boyfriend,” Blue replied. She was petty and she wasn’t sorry for it either.

“Wrong,” Adam insisted. “He likes La Fiesta. We went there last week.”

Blue arched an eyebrow at Ronan. “Man, the things you do for love, huh?”

“Ro, tell her,” Adam turned to Ronan, only to stare disbelievingly at the chagrined look on his boyfriend’s face. “You can’t be serious,” he scoffed.

“Sorry, but the maggot’s right on this one,” Ronan shrugged one shoulder. “We went to La Fiesta cause that's the one you like.”

Blue faked gagged. “You’ve gone soft, Lynch. It's gross.” Gansey laughed, honey rich and butter smooth. It was hard to hate him when his laugh melted her insides.

“Fuck off. You’re just trying to start shit. You’ve never cared what you were eating,” Ronan replied. Neither of them mentioned that she was usually too high to actually pay attention to what she ate, when she actually remembered to. 

She smirked again, mischievous this time. 

“You’re right. But your little boytoy gets so worked up. It’s just so easy.” Her high was starting to fade fast, and she could feel herself getting bitchy. She scowled, unpleasantness settling in her gut. “Actually, I’m not hungry. I’m heading home.”

“Oh, are you sure?” Gansey’s voice sounded concerned. “Would you like one of us to drive you or-.”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it. Got here just fine on my own. I can get back like a big girl.”

And then she was gone. Out the door before Gansey could insist on taking care of her like she was one of the gang. The last thing she needed was to be seen pulling up to K’s in Dick’s old car. She’d never hear the end of it and K would be  _ pissed _ . She couldn’t let that happen, especially when she was contemplating asking him for a favor. Especially when she was contemplating spending more time with Gansey and the others.


End file.
